Overwhelm

Beware; this is a journal-like rant of an overwhelmed, exhasted mother of three kids (three years and under).  I almost didnt even post it- but I figure if you care to read, go right ahead.  Just proceed with caution!

I guess it's just a part of life but I feel so overwhelmed right now and I dont know what to do!  I guess it boithers me the most because I know that my challenges in life are small and temporary; I don't have to deal with a whole lot!  It bugs me that I'm bugged by life.  Silly, hu?  Here are some things that overwhelm me right now:

Unorganized life!  I haven't been able to keep up with the usual mess- and I could let that slide.  I could even let the fact that my floor is unmopped and bathrooms unscrubbed go!  But there is just clutter everywhere and not a single drawer or cabinet is organized.  I almost want to rent a dumpster and just throw everything out the window!

Food- I've been staying away from processed sugar end about 3/4 of my daily consumption is fruits and vegitable (the other 1/4 is whole grains, proteins, and some starches such as potatoes and rice. Every once in a while I'll have a little cheese- but I've been drinking rice milk and such. And no, in my book a potatoe is NOT a vegatable).   I can live with cooking everything from scratch,  and not loosing any weight, but what I can't deal with is the money it takes to eat like that!  We are not even a third of the way through the month and Iam already $80 over budget for groceries. I guess we will have to start eating nasty food like ramen, oatmeal, and hot dogs (gag me with a spoon).

Countertop-  When we moved in there was a large crack in the kitchen countertop and we figured we'd live with it a year and then replace it.  Problem is that life didn't go as planned and we dont have the funds to replace it- and it's getting worse!!! Now it covers almost the entire span of the counter and I can't even take advantage of that space anymore!

Potty issues- Ava has been peeing in her panties 3x a day and I've tried everything!  I'm about to tape her to the toilet!  On top of that, it's time to potty-train Cameron and I just dont have the will or the energy to deal with it right now.

Binky-  On top of that, my three and a half year old thinks she wants a binky again and she will find one of bennetts and run to her bedroom.  She has even LIED to me about having one!  I dont know what to do!

Car-  Billys car broke down last week and we still don't know exactly whats going on.  It takes so much energy and time to work on it and figure everything out (not to mention money).  All of which we don't have.  We dont have the money to replace it either.

Cell phone-  we've been living the past few months without billy's cell phone because we don't have the money to replace it.  Meanwhile we are paying an extra $10 a month for phone service we can't use without a phone.  

Plumbing-   We have a leak somewhere (we think it is coming from the kids bathtub) that is comming through our ceiling and dripping in the living room.  We need to have someone come take a look, but I am dreading what we find!

Hot water heater- AND our hot water heater has been acting up.  It turns off as soon as we start using a lot of water (like sunday morning when we are all trying to take a shower and get ready for church).
I won't mention in this list how our computer isn't working properly!

glasses- Yesterday Ava brought my glasses to me- in two different pieces.  "Cameron did it".   I don't know how it happened and I don't even care; but it is really hard to function in the middle of the night and get up and make bottle number 5 because your baby is crying and hungry AGAIN, without being able to see.  I really can't justify spending the money to go buy new frames-  its just not an option.  I am FINALLY (after 5 years) going to the dentist this week and having my wisdom teeth removed and a cavity filled.  Thats taking about all the mula we can spare right now!

Mold-  This morning I removed a picture from the wall and realized there is mold growing on the wall!  So now I'm concerned that my family is living in an unsafe enviroment or we are going to have to tear down all the drywall in this place because we have mold.  Oh, I pray that it's not too big of an issue...

Bra.  Bra? you might think.  But yes, my bra is something that is adding to the frustration in my life.  I spend a TON of money (honestly, half of what I spend on my clothing in a year is on bras) on them and I STILL cant find one that fits correctly.  The closest I have gotten is Lane Bryants 38H, but it gives me a funny shape and rubs my underarm raw.  So yes, even something as stupid as a bra is bugging me.

TV-  well its broken and in order to use the one-year warrenty that came with it I have to drive an hour to salt lake  to drop it off to have it fixed- piece of crap!

In this list I also won't mention the fact that there is huge blue area on my carpet from where I knocked over a can of blue paint, or the fact that I really really want a dining room table that seats 8 (or at least our whole family of 5) so we can have friends over have a place to eat together!

Now, as I go through this list that I just made I realize that it is normal concerns about my body (maybe that was just implicit), regular raising children issues, and of course, MONEY.  Now I would SOOOOOO much rather have my issues in life be about money than almost anything else.  So I know I should just suck it up and live with it.  But I feel like complaining about the fact that I'm complaining right now!